This headline STINKS! Just because I am a man, you think I don't read about relationships? Just because my idea of a conversation is analyzing the earned run average of retired baseball players you think I am shallow? Hmmm...on second thought, maybe learning about women from my workaholic divorced dad or my comic book collection wasn't the best idea.
Men are really simple creatures. Women are not. (At least that is what men THINK) In reality, both genders are very simple, If we study human history and biology we can solve half of the equation of mis-communication between us.
From an anthropological and historical sense, men are the providers. We used our strength to "kill mastodon...bring back to cave...make more people".
Our female counter parts spent millions of years nurturing and caring for the young. It is only in the past 100 years or so that these roles have merged, crossed over and otherwise co-mingled. Think about the time line. 100 years divided by 1 million years of evolution is 1/10,000. That's like being told for 50 years that the world is flat, you lived it, you breathed it, your parents were both told that, etc. and then in less than a second it all changed. The earth has always been round, don't you see?
Men produce billions of sperm per year. Why? In order to propagate the species, of course! Women prepare 1 egg per month...hmmm....I'm no math genius, but isn't there something wrong here? Yes, I know that many of our guys can't swim, some are warrior sperm designed to attack and kill other guys sperm. But, the fact remains that men can reproduce into their 70's, women peak late 40's/early 50's and our urge to reproduce at all costs is why our species proliferates the planet.
Now, all of a sudden women tell us we have to search our feelings? UH, my feelings are centrally located in my pants, my dear. It's not my fault. Blame evolution, God, or that last Mastodon kill that made me feel so virile!
In all seriousness, we CAN talk, share our feelings and connect with women. It's just not that easy to accomplish. And for that we can blame the media, our fathers, and anyone else who has uttered the words:
· "Be a man."
· "Suck it up."
· "Semper Fi"
· "There's no crying in baseball!"
The list goes on and on. Men are conditioned from a very early age not to cry, express their feelings, or shed any emotion. Is that evolution or environmental conditioning? Probably both, My Fair Lady. (Or "Trading Places" if you are into 80's movies)
So in order for us to relate emotionally vs. physically and if a woman wants us to express our inner feelings we have to take a break from our manliness and listen. If you are a woman and you desire a deeper connection or simply want to avoid arguments, the simplest strategy is to be attentive to our needs, relax, and don't ask, (at least not directly) "how we feel." That is a chick question and we seriously don't know how to answer it.
Sorry.
We CAN improve our communication, however. It takes patience and a bit of manipulation on your part (Shouldn't be a problem-right?) Since men are visual and pretty much walking erections, appeal to that aspect of ourselves and you can pry all the information you want out of us. Professional spies have done this for years. You can too! You don't have to even feel guilty about it.
I am not suggesting sleeping with the enemy, here. I am suggesting being that incredibly hot girlfriend you were when he met you! You were a girlfriend before you became a wife. Perhaps 12 years of marriage, 2.5 kids, a mortgage, sleepless nights, and endless piano recitals have made you both forget what it was like to be boyfriend/girlfriend and date each other. Since you are smarter than he is, go ahead and start dating (with a vengeance!). Put on your sexiest outfit, kidnap him after work, go to a cheap hotel, and rock his world. Don't even try to tell me that won't affect him in a positive sense!
Guys, if you REALLY want to have sex with a smokin' hot woman and put that "post-sex" glow on both your faces every other day, you HAVE to learn the skills of communicating on a deep, emotional level with your woman. It isn't as simple as saying, "I really love you" or "You are everything to me." Words are a great start. But women are smarter than us, of course. You need to increase your emotional strength and communication.
It is up to the man to lead, make the changes in HIMSELF first, before expecting to make his wife hot.
In fact, we surveyed and polled nearly one hundred couples and women to come up with the essence of sex in a relationship, from a woman's perspective. We did this because (generally speaking) guys want more sex.
Actually, women do too. They just call it love. Men crave sex in order to "feel" love and woman crave love in order to have sex. It's simple but so many men get the order wrong. They think that their sexual prowess in the bedroom will make a woman swoon and be loyal to them forever. BUZZ! WRONG! If that were true, you wouldn't see so many average looking guys with smokin' hot wives. (The opposite is rarely true-sorry ladies)
Women crave security. This security can come in many forms from financial, spiritual, emotional, physical, etc. Going back to the Mastodon example, as long as Thor brought back enough meat to feed the little ones, life was bliss (or at least survivable). Now that supermarkets are in vogue, financial security has largely replaced brute strength. That's why rich-middle aged male celebrities often end up with supermodels.
NOTE: If you are a middle aged woman threatened by that statement then you DEFINITELY don't need anything else. You have more experience, sex appeal and confidence than any supermodel...your hubby knows it. Being smart, hot, confident and charming are the principles that will make him yours-forever.
So, guys, do yourself a favor. Start reading an occasional self-improvement book or relationship book. You will understand that women aren't really that complex. She will shower you with sex (and love) every time she catches you reading that book, listening to her talk or sees you picking up your underwear. All of these activities are a turn on in some fashion. DO IT! Learning and applying the principles is fun! Our blog continues to give new ideas and advice on creating the sexually charge relationship you desire. http://makeyourwifehot.com/
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